Newbie to Tivo needs help.

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Also, I've taken a picture of the turbonet card connected to my TIVO unit:

Sheesh. Well I guess that will be the first question I ask next time...at least you mentioned it before sending the card back.
Out of curiousity, does the TiVo now show up on the modem's 'Home Network' connections page?
If you saw digits on screen that is a good start in terms of IR control of your STB. You can adjust the number of digits and the delay between digits later if you need to, the main thing is getting it to change reliably for a start.
The good news is that your STB is listed here http://www.oztivo.net/tivo-bin/irdatabase.cgi (you need a login to view page) so should be in the oztivo IR database.